What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize