The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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