Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
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we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
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I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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