First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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