If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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