So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize