nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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