Sry I called you an 8
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
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I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
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I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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