If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize