I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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