i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize