For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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