i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
not ubering you a puppy
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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