i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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