Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize