when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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