It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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