Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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