she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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