sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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