marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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