Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize