whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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