was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish they made helmets for livers.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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