Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
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I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
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Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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