the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
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Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
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Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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