I wanna passion pit in your ass
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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