Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize