So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize