so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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