No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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