Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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