Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My balls are so social today.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize