HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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