fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize