I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize