Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize