how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It's Friday. Sex?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
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Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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