Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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