Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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