I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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