Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
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so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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