also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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