I cockslap morals
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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