i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Farmville is her only friend.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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