some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
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I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
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Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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