you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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