Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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