I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize