i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i barfeds in our rink
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
only if we run a train.
done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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