he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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