According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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