ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Houston, we have a squirter
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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